I have woken up after a very uncomfortable night of shifting and turning to get a comfortable position in the bus. God bless everyone who kept me company through the night and God bless whoever came up with social media๐Ÿ™ƒ

Everytime I get to Mombasa I feel like the air has changed and everything is different. We get to Mombasa and part ways with my aunts cause they had plans and we board a matatu(public means) heading towards the ferry. Everytime I am in Mombasa I feel like saying, home sweet home but it no longer feels that way for me no lie. We are in the matatu but my mind is miles away as I watch the blue and white buildings fly away around me hardly listening to what my mum is saying. Life is not easy. That’s what my thoughts keep concluding ๐Ÿ˜„๐Ÿ˜„

I want to enjoy the moment and recall childhood memories of my cousins and I but it has been long time and my mind doesn’t want to cooperate. I can barely think of positive things๐Ÿ˜Œ The traffic here is crazy and we have to alight the vehicle and continue on foot. I am exhausted and hungry but I dare not tell my mother because I know she must feel the same but now is not the time. As we approach the ferry my heart quickens and my head threatens to start spinning because there are so many people that are in motion. I hate crowds and in this moments I feel like the crowd is closing in on me and I want to close my eyes and hide in the corner until everyone is gone but i can’t. There is no time so we have to keep going. Amidst the rush my mum forgets to get her bags through security and she has go back in line as I wait for her to get through.

The moment she gets through the gate the rush continues. I hate running unless am running in the soccer field. People are running to get to the ferry but I know better than to run near crowds of people. I ask my mum to stop running and she does but her pace is quick and I have to jog to catch up with her. I am not used to this rush.

The ocean always makes me queasy but this time I feel calm. I ask my mum if we could take the seats on the upper deck and she makes a comment of me having splitting personalities and i quickly think of my Maria Luna story and smile. Has she finally read it?๐Ÿ˜„

First time in my life the ocean makes me relax. All the thoughts I had on my way here are now so far I can hardly feel them anymore. My mind is at ease and my heartbeats are relaxed and rhythmatic. I am feeling good, after a long journey of worrying about what next. I watch the waves on the farthest end my eyes can see and I feel like I probably need a swim. Who knows the last time I went for a swim. I find myself considering it and my mind wanders to if what my friend told me was true. That whenever you swim in the ocean you wash your diseases and your soul is somewhat free. I am thinking it might be true considering the calm am feeling after a near breakdown and I had not even swam yet.

As the ship ferries us to the other side I watch the water seemingly part as the ship sails. It’s quite calm considering the size of this ship if you ask me. I honestly thought the ocean would make a fuss but it didn’t ๐Ÿ˜„Get it?

The time where I dread has finally come as the rush begins again. A queue of people that seems endless are already filing into the ship as we r getting off it. I can hear the gentle voice of a woman over the speakers speaking in kiswahili reminding us to check if we’ve carried all our luggage and I check out of habit of listening to instructions from people over the intercom that I never even see.

That fear in me comes alive again and I rush towards the exit so that I can escape this crowd. I make sure to gently hold my mum’s dress so that we wouldn’t lose touch of each other in this crowd. God knows I hate finding someone through the phone especially when you are both panicked,I was having none of that.

As we navigate through the crowds I can feel the smell of sweet cologne, stuffy perfume and sweaty bodies but u have to push through. I admire how my mum handles herself with calm as she carries our bag on her head and her handbag on her shoulder. I have a smaller version of the bag that is quite heavy on one hand and a sling bag across my body. I want to give up and go back home to my bed but I remind myself to grow up๐Ÿ˜„๐Ÿ˜„ My nerves calm when we get to the streets of Likoni where there are stalls full of plastic sandals and deras(swahili dresses) and all types of sea food that makes my mouth water involuntarily. Damn!I surely am in the Kenyan Coast. After all that we’ve been through, I am happy that i decided to sacrifice and take this trip. Home sweet home even if my thoughts want to betray me. My Coastal experience is beginning to take shape and I love it.



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